Read an excerpt from the book!
IS IT FACT? OR IS IT FICTION?
To begin our journey of truth, I have compiled
a list of cat myths and cat truths. While you are reading
this, keep in mind that the truth shall set you (or your lunch)
free.
MYTH: Cats are clean animals.
TRUTH: Cats spend 95% of their non-comatose hours in anal
adoration and cleansing. Anyone who has seen a cat butt
knows this simply is not true.
MYTH: Cats are lazy.
TRUTH: This is a falsehood. Cats are not lazy. They’re
just really tired from all that butt-licking.
MYTH: Cats are not trainable.
TRUTH: Untrue! Cats are highly trainable…except
when it comes to using the litterbox. If people would only
give up the ship and try to train their cats to poop in a corner
or potted plant, they’d realize how highly trainable a
cat can be.
MYTH: Cats are finicky.
TRUTH: Cats truly are finicky. Think about it. What
other food in the world could compare to a warm, chewy mouse,
a fluffy fledgling, tinsel, Styrofoam, cardboard, paper, a Boston
fern, Ben Gay or another cat’s butt?
MYTH: Cats have 9 lives.
TRUTH: They must. Why else would they try our patience
every waking hour of the day?
MYTH: Cats will smother a sleeping baby.
TRUTH: Completely false! Many bald babies closely
resemble a butt and we all know what cats think about butts. A
cat would never harm a good butt.
MYTH: Cats are aloof:
TRUTH: Untrue. Cats aren’t aloof. They
just don’t give a s***…unless it’s in a corner
or a potted plant.
MYTH: Cats are dumb.
TRUTH: TOTALLY untrue! Cats are sentient creatures
with a distinct purpose in life-to make OUR lives hell while
at the same time, purring, to make us love them anyway. Seems
pretty clever to me.
|
