Dear Nanny Butter Nubbins,

What is the etiquette regarding eating regurgitated food? Is it ok? If it is, is it acceptable to eat food other cats have thrown up or should I stick to my own?

Sincerely,

Dining Dilemma in Detroit

Dear Dilemma,

I am asked this question often, particularly from Persians and "tuxedo" cats. No one wants to make a faux paw when it comes to dining etiquette. My advice to you is, if it's chunky, go ahead but steer clear of the watery variety. As far as eating your own vs. eating others', there are no hard, fast rules. That's really more a matter of purrsonal taste.

Bon appetit!

NBN

Dear Nanny Butter Nubbins,

I am a one year old tabby. Recently I have been experiencing a desparate need to start a family. I can feel my biological kitty clock just ticking away like the moths that hit the windows when the porch light is on. Although I am ready to become a mother, the humans that live with me won't let me out of the house so that I can purrsue a romantic relationship with the 10 suitors that serenade me every night. If I could, I would just let myself out and say to heck with what those interfering humans want but I don't have opposable thumbs so I can't turn the doorknob. What should I do????

Tick Tock Tabby

Dear Tick,

What in the world are you thinking? Are you on kitty crack?? You're only a year old. That's much too young to be concerned with birthin' babies! Do you have a job? How will you support those 4, 6 or 8 future Meow Mix munchers that will be glued to your teets for over 2 months? I guarantee once those warbling Casanovas have their way with you, they won't be hanging around to help out, they'll be down the road sparkin' the first calico that comes along. Take my advice, put this cockamamie idea out of your head and go do something constructive with your time, like sharpen your claws on the couch or trip the humans as they walk while carrying liquid.

NBN